#57: Warm Hand of Death

The Story Behind Warm Hand of Death

I have never understood the original appeal of eating lobster. Seriously, who was the first person that saw one and thought, “YUM! Let’s eat this!” First of all, they look like giant sea spiders, with their spindly little legs and their creepy eyes. Secondly, they aren’t easy to catch - so they’re not cheap. Going out for lobster is an expensive affair. Then again, it’s not a food you want to go cheap on. Buying cheap lobster sounds like food poisoning waiting to happen.

But perhaps the biggest hang-up I have about eating lobster is the difficulty level. Eating lobster is hard! Hard and messy. You have to put a bib on because that sucker is going to get everywhere, lobster guts will be flying in no time. You have to break through the lobster’s shell to get to its meat and the whole affair is strenuous and challenging. How many other foods require a little tool to eat it? Eating should be relaxing and fun but eating lobster is like solving a Rubik's Cube: it’s hard, it takes too long and it leaves you exhausted!

Plain Text Description of Warm Hand of Death

Two lobsters are chatting in a small lobster tank. One lobster asks the other, "You ever get the feeling that some day the warm hand of death will come down and scoop you away?"