Dad Jokes

#146: You Make a Good Point

A pink eraser is chatting with a very sharp #2 pencil. The eraser says, "You do make a good point".

#142: Free Hugs

A saguaro cactus stands in the middle of the Arizona desert holding a sign, "free hugs".

#134: World Peas

Eight peas are depicted with different cultural headwear: Pharaoh, Asian conical hat, chonmage, plad trapper hat, fur hood, baseball cap, indian woman, and woman with sugar skull makeup.

#127: Feeling A 'lil Gassy

Two volcanoes are situated next to each other in the ocean. One has puffs of gas emitting from the caldera, and states, “I’ve been feeling a lil gassy lately.”

#125: Graveyard Dead Party

Two partial skeletons stick out of their graves in an old cemetery with numerous broken headstones, surrounded by a broken-down fence. One skeleton states to the other skeleton, "Man, this party's dead." A skeletal arm sticks out of another grave holding a red solo cup. Two ghosts (one wearing a baseball cap and the other in a party hat) chat unassumingly in the background.

#115: The Cloud Crashes Again

A cloud has apparently crashed into a field and is partially buried in the ground. Two stick figures look on, with one exclaiming, "Oh no, the cloud has crashed!" While the other laments, "...not again!"

#107: You Are a Cutie Pi

The letters U R A QT and the number Pi out to 31 digits.

#102: The Grape Escape

A refrigerator sits open. A cluster of grapes lays on the floor in front of the refrigerator exclaiming, "freedom!".

#101: I Scream

The lower-case letter i screaming in a crazy, unhinged manner with the letters h and j looking on very freaked out and screaming.

#100: Ice Scream

A cube of ice is melting into a puddle and screaming.

#99: Eyes Scream

Two eyeballs look at each other and scream.

#82: Sleeping Pill and Laxative Before Bed

An elderly stick figure is imparting wisdom to a child stick figure. "What's the best advice I can give?" "Never take both a sleeping pill and a laxative before bed."

#76: Dead Party Skeletons

Two skeletons are sitting on a tiny desert island. One skeleton is laying down sunbathing, drinking a beverage and the other is seated. The seated skeleton says, "Man, this party is dead." to which the other skeleton replies, "Tell me about it."

#55: Addicted Eskimo #2

An eskimo - pointing to a new freezer - sheepishly tries to explain the purchase to a polar bear, "What? it was on sale!"

#54: Memory Goes Second

A balding, elderly stick figure with a cane explains to a child, "When you grow old, your memory is always the second thing to go." "What's the first?" the child asks. After a long pause the elderly stick figure responds, "...the first what?"

#47: Valentine Butt Cheeks

A stick figure holding a card in the shape of a heart with the word "MOM" upside down. "Every year it's the same thing, butt cheeks and the word WOW"

#36: Happened so Fast

A dead turtle lies on its back with an x over each eye. Nearby, two snails are discussing, "Everything just happened so fast!"

#30: Never Thought

A stick figure sitting in a recliner reading newspaper advertisements exclaims, "What's this? Coupons for Rogaine, Bengay and Poligrip! ...oh, happy day!" "I've always dreaded this day."

#24: Nair

A male stick figure walks out of the shower talking to a female stick figure who is sitting at a table, "That new NAIR shampoo smells disgusting!" The female stick figure responds, "Nair shampoo?" All of the male stick figure's hair falls onto the floor: "I'm going back to bed." The female stick figure notes sarcastically, "That's a good look for you."

#23: Swallow

A swallow looks at a coconut and asks, "Seriously?"

#22: Got Whacked

A forest of Christmas trees with one stump. One tree asks, "Hey, what happened to Ed?" to which another responds, "He got whacked."

#20: Desert Ice Machine

In a sweltering hot desert, a stick figure holding an empty cup kneels in front of an out-of-order ice machine.

#3: Escargot

Once there was a snail who was tired of being slow. He went out and bought a really fast sports car and had the dealer paint a big "S" on each side of it. Now, whenever someone sees him zooming past in his new car, they say, "Hey, look at that s-car go!"

#2: Paper Airplane is it Safe to Fly

A female passenger stick figure asks the pilot stick figure, "Is it safe?" to which a pilot wearing sunglasses responds, "enough".

#1: Paper Airplane Gonna Hurl - I Just Wet Myself

Two stick figures are flying in a paper airplane that is doing acrobatics. The passenger exclaims, "I'm gonna hurl!" to which the pilot calmly replies, "It's okay! I just wet myself." There is a visible urine stain under the pilot.