taleas
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Shop / Newsprint / #57: Warm Hand of Death Newsprint

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Warm Hand of Death Newsprint Regular Newsprint
Warm Hand of Death Newsprint Regular Newsprint

#57: Warm Hand of Death Newsprint

$0.00

Regular
  • Printed on real newsprint 📰
  • Approximately 4" by 3" 📏
  • Perfect to stick on the fridge
Two lobsters are chatting in a small lobster tank. One lobster asks the other, "You ever get the feeling that some day the warm hand of death will come down and scoop you away?"

I have never understood the original appeal of eating lobster. Seriously, who was the first person that saw one and thought, “YUM! Let’s eat this!” First of all, they look like giant sea spiders, with their spindly little legs and their creepy eyes. Secondly, they aren’t easy to catch - so they’re not cheap. Going out for lobster is an expensive affair. Then again, it’s not a food you want to go cheap on. Buying cheap lobster sounds like food poisoning waiting to happen.

But perhaps the biggest hang-up I have about eating lobster is the difficulty level. Eating lobster is hard! Hard and messy. You have to put a bib on because that sucker is going to get everywhere, lobster guts will be flying in no time. You have to break through the lobster’s shell to get to its meat and the whole affair is strenuous and challenging. How many other foods require a little tool to eat it? Eating should be relaxing and fun but eating lobster is like solving a Rubik's Cube: it’s hard, it takes too long and it leaves you exhausted!



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A big part of taleas’ products are hand made, hand printed, hand stitched, hand sewn, hand glued or some combination of the above in Austin, Texas. I have a strong passion for solid business ethics, scalability, sustainability, and repeatability, and all of these drive the quality of products that I offer.


Frequently Asked Questions

How much does shipping cost?

Free for U.S. domestic orders over $50. Typically $2 - $7 for smaller domestic orders. You can check out our shipping policies here.

Is there a return policy?

Totes! 30 days for undamaged paper goods and unworn/unwashed clothing. If the product arrives defective please email us at hello@taleas.com or give us a call at 1-833-580-0600 so we can get your issue taken care of.

Where will my order ship from?

All orders are made in and shipped from Austin, Texas - yee haw!

What if I have more questions?

Send me a message at hello@taleas.com. I design every piece of merch that I sell and am delighted to answer any questions that you have.